my pre cold routine is to wrap up warm and get some sleep - this seems to head them of at the pass. I had my flu jab last Friday adn don't seem to be to bad - fingers crossed!

Super bp x

Christophe - did you give Mr Cowell any style tips?

Cheryl the Diva x x

This should be interesting, I've never managed to stop one once it's on it's way.

I'm so shallow but I'm more interested in whatever Simon Cowell had to say though!

Did he only talk about cars CLP?

x x x

OOOH I'd like a ride with Simon ;-)!!!

Two words Lammy Pie - Manuka Honey!

however, I think if the bug is already in your system, you just have to accept you're doomed!!!

T xxx

Vitamin c is no good as once your body has it's correct level the rest just goes straight through you.

TTT

Ah Ted, that's why you can get slow release vit C tabs.... so it keeps topping itself up!!

T xx

Selenium pill every day - seems to ward off all and sundry - boosts your immune system.

Beesmum xxx

aaaaatishoooooooooooooo!!(only kidding)

Hey the suns come out! - :) :) :)

A healthy diet would remove the need for any tablets at all. 5 a day and all that.

TTT

oodless of chicken soup, plain chocolate digestives, lemsips and love actually.

worked for me!

xxx

yes, yes, yes... calm down.. i am working the internet machine... don't get yoursens into a bad way.... i have been trained at my local library.......

nAME iNTRODUCTION : bERTWYND hURRICANE,

hello to all of the computer people, i am coming to you from my local library internet club!!!!!!!! (8)

i HAVE BEEN TO SEE bINGO sTAR AT rehabilitation AND HE IS OK. hE HAS THIS MMMMESSAGE, MESSAGE HERE.
hE WOULD LIKE TO say WHAT IS ALL THE fuss NOW OVER jjjjjEREMY, jEREMY cLARKSON'S REMARKS OOOOVER, OVER TRUCKERS AND LADIES OF the NIGHT? bINGO ADDS AS TRUCKER HIMSELF HE is NNNNOT, NOT OFFENDED, HAS NOBODY GOT A sense OF HHHUMOUR, HUMOUR NOWADAYS? jEREMY WAS ONLY JOKING!!!!!!! (8)
bINGO ADDS OF all THE YEARS HE'S BBBBEEN, BEEN TRUCKING AND AAALL, ALL THE NIGHTS HE'S SPENT parked IN LAY-BYS NO LADIES OF THE night HAVE EEEVER, EVER KNOCKED ON HIS CAB DOOR!!!!!!! (8)
aLTHOUGH ONCE HE did GET A KKKKNOCK, KNOCK ON HIS DOOR. yES IT WAS A BLOKE ASKING WOULD he LIKE SSSOME, SOME FUN!!!!!!!! (8)
100% TRUE bINGO ADDS!!!!!!!! (8)
bINGO REPLIED "FUN??? NO DAMN THANK YOU... how very dare you..... iF i WAS LOOKING FOR FUN i WOULDN'T BE EARNING A LIVING BY BEING PARKED IN A damn it LAY-BY ALL NIGHT, LIVING IN A TIN BOX ON WHEELS AND LIVING ON BAKED MEAN SANDWICHES!!!!!!!!(8)"
bINGO ADDS IT'S JUST MY damn LUCK.. AN ATTRACTIVE LOST 23YEAR OLD LADY WOULDN'T knock ON MY CAB DOOR ASKING FFFFOR, FOR ASSISTANCE!!!!!!! (8)

tALKING OF WHICH, THAT bINGO NUTTER. i CAN TELL YOU SOME things AAAABOUT, ABOUT HIM.....

(LIBRARIAN) "Mr Hurricane.. what en earth are you doing?"
(BERTWYND) "GIVE ME STRENGTH, CAN YOU NOT LEAVE ME AAALONE, ALONE TO USE THIS COMPUTER IN PEACE??!!?"
(LIBRARIAN) "Mr Hurricane.. calm down, ppleeease calm down!"
(BERTWYND) "CALM DOWN.. ARE YOU MAD!!!!!!@?"
(LIBRARIAN) "PLEASE, I am only trying to help you!"
(BERTWYND) "I DON'T NEED DAMN HELP!!!!"
(LIBRARIAN) "I am trying to tell you, you have got your 'caps lock' on"
(BERTWYND) "ARE YOU PLAYING WITH MY SANITY... I HAVEN'T GOT A CAP ON TODAY.... LOOK YOU YOUNGSTERS... YOU THINK YOU KNOW IT ALL ABOUT TECHNOLOGY.... KEEP YOUR INTERNET CLUB.... KEEP IT.... I KNOW I'M NOT WELCOME BECAUSE I'M OVER 65.......@@@"
(LIBRARIAN) "no Mr Hurricane... "
(BERTWYND) "GOOD DAY TO YOU!!!!!!! (8)"

Agree Ted - healthy diet - plus a selenium pill a day! Counters the chemicals in the fresh fruit and veg!!

BM xx

oooooooh noooooooooo ...

lady boss going into one on the phone in next office ........

PP - can i come under the table with you please???

CtD xx

Heading off a bug before it takes hold... not sure about that. It's good to keep your vit C up but brocolli is better than oranges. I think if you get the bug it's with you. Keeping yourself fit and eating well is supposed to make you less susceptible (I'm sure other spellings are available) to bugs but you know smoking won't do your throat any good tut tut!!

With that I'm off to the gym to keep myself fit & healthy... woohoo!!!!

Luv
Lyndyloo
(sporting a bit of lyrcra for good measure)
-x-x-

Hey Lyndyloo, gym? lycra? Yikes, give me a cold any day.

x x x

Bingo - brilliant - and agree - are we not allowed a sense of humour now - and he did say how difficult it was to drive those things!! Still like to have a go though!

Beesmum xxx

Morning/Afternoon everyone,

Lots of fluids, multi-vits and exercise is my regime...... I also get a flu shot. Seems to work for the most part.

Election Day here. This time tomorrow all the political ads will stop (thank goodness) and we can get on with the rest of our lives......

LOL Debbie, I'm with you!!!

Broccoli - very good for all sorts of things - iron, vit c, also good for your eyes!

A strawberry has got more vit c than an orange apparently - and so much easier to eat!!

Bond, I would have thought the germs would be too intimidated to try and attack you anyway!! Unless they're licenced to chill ha ha ....

Bond. Just thinking about you.

We Diva's love a lot of fluids, y'know!

Sparkle....LOL but my antibodies are licensed to kill them though......

I did comment on this on the last blog, but it was after this one had started.

At the risk of being acused of lacking a sense of humour and being one of the PC brigade, I fail to see what is remotely funny about prostitutes being murdered.

Perhaps we should ask the familes of the women recently murdered in Norwich what they think.

Perhaps Mr C should stick just stick to driving cars a leave the jokes to those better qualified.

Ctd, I'm sure you do, I'm suuure you do.

Thanks for thinking of me...... I think.

Colds is easy. What I want to know is how do you stave off a slipped disc? (other incredibly painful back issues are available).

MW, a!

hehe James - not too sure about that one are you!!!

Beesmum xxx

Three Ladies in a Sauna

THREE WOMEN, TWO YOUNGER, AND ONE SENIOR CITIZEN, WERE SITTING NAKED IN A SAUNA. SUDDENLY THERE WAS A BEEPING SOUND. THE YOUNG WOMAN PRESSED HER

FOREARM AND THE BEEP STOPPED.



THE OTHERS LOOKED AT HER QUESTIONINGLY. 'THAT WAS MY PAGER,' SHE SAID.
I HAVE A MICROCHIP UNDER THE SKIN OF MY ARM.'



A FEW MINUTES LATER, A PHONE RANG. THE SECOND YOUNG WOMAN LIFTED HER PALM TO HER EAR. WHEN SHE FINISHED, SHE EXPLAINED, 'THAT WAS MY MOBILE PHONE. I HAVE A MICROCHIP IN MY HAND.'



THE OLDER WOMAN FELT VERY LOW-TECH. NOT TO BE OUTDONE, SHE DECIDED SHE HAD TO DO SOMETHING JUST AS IMPRESSIVE. SHE STEPPED OUT OF THE SAUNA AND WENT TO THE BATHROOM. SHE RETURNED WITH A PIECE OF TOILET PAPER HANGING FROM HER REAR END.



THE OTHERS RAISED THEIR EYEBROWS AND STARED AT HER.

THE OLDER WOMAN FINALLY SAID..........WELL, WILL YOU LOOK AT THAT....I'M GETTING A FAX!!

BeesMum, in a word, No I am not....LOL

MW, oooooo that's not good. The Remedy used to be bed rest. What do they prescribe these days?

Sparkle, good one......

eye thank ewe!!

MWa, when my mum had a slipped disc she was in hossie for weeks with her leg suspended from the ceiling. Not sure if that was just for fun though.

I now have an image of MW,a! suspended from the oak beams in her lovely abode!

but hey! probly best not to go there!

Bond: have you seen that Tony Adams wants to "unveil" Martin Keown as his No.2 at Portsmouth.

Gutted!!!!

Will have to tell you my Martin Keown claim to fame at some time ...!

HAHAHAHA!!!

Sparkle.... that jokes is SO funny. I tried to tell my rather stiff upper lipped colleague it just now.... din't go down too well... made me laugh more!

xXx

Shorty - for some reason I have a vision of you doing the manic Dawn French laugh!!!! Which has made me laugh too!!

James - I think we were both thinking the same thing - norty james and beesmum!!

MWA ouch!!* -
me too Diva - I initially thought what had they been up to then when Tins said her mum was suspended imagination went in to overdrive.
Has boss lady finished ranting - are you out from under table yet?

Beesmum xxx

Beesmum and James - just what are you thinking? Eh? Eh?

Boss lady has finished ranting. For now. Honestly - she loves to complain at any given opportunity but she doesn't do it in a constructive way - she just gets angry, rants, jumbles her words up and then sounds scary and funny all in one hit! She can be quite rude sometimes, which she thinks is clever. I just sit here cringing.

Personally, if I was the person at the other end of the phone receiving one of her rants, I'd get so wound up that I'd go out to cool down and forget that she'd called in the first place, ergo not resolving her complaint.

There's ways and means to do these things, but I fear that at 66, she'll never change.

PS: when she puts complaints in writing, she even has "angry handwriting" - impossible to read and me too scared to ask!!!

Ctd, Is Keown confirmed? I heard that Wenger wanted him too?

BeesMum, I am sure I don't know what you mean......LOL

hahahaha.... yeeeeaaahhh... my boss from my last job had me moved away from her because she said i had a manic, filthy laugh and it unnerved / disturbed her.

Infectious though so i've been told! (in a nice, belly laugh way)

I think i want to hear more jokes.

My cousin bought me a "Sick Joke Book" for my birthday last year ... they're not for here!!

xXx

Bond: I heard that too! Guess which one I'm hoping for .....

... will FB you in a mo x x

i have been told on more then one occasion that my laugh is too loud and now my sneeze is too loud - what can i do?

CtD......Okay.

Mild and sunny here today. Supposed to be like this for the rest of the week. No snow in the forecast. High voter turn out expected, last I heard they were forecasting an 80% turnout, which is unheard of here......

Surely a laugh can never be too loud????

Unless you're at a funeral of course.

Drink lots of water and a shot of Metaxa.

Gets rid of everything that stuff :o)

She's checking up on us now James!! Can I be a fly on the fb wall please? Wonder if she'll blush!!

BM xx

Colds: Eric-can-ache-ya - or somefink like vat! Alledgedly - aged relative swears by it though her snotty beak. for someone who pill pops like nobodies business - she does suffer a large no. of illnesses! Sometimes she has fruity, chewable, multivitamins she gives the young 'uns as "special Sweeties" if she deems them lacking!

but i concur with what was said earlier - if you have the start of the symptoms then YER DOOOOOMED - YER ALL DOOOOMED!

Quack

Sparkle, cue the Billy Connolly funeral sketch....LOL

Tinsel - that's twice this afternoon!!!! - off the get me screen wipes!

BM xx

Hello Chris,

The best way to cure a cold before it takes over your life, is a spoon of honey sprinkled with cinnamon a couple of times a day. If you can get local honey from a local farm shop rather than the supermarket stuff – all the better… Bees are brilliant- they get exposed to all the nasty bugs out there in the world – they put all the right bug fighting stuff into their honey, so the baby Bees don’t get ill. It works – trust me! The cinnamon clears your nose and throat of any gloop that may have collected in there, the honey kills the bugs so you feel well and happy. Honey cures lots of other things too.

TVWx

i get told i have a loud sneeze too - but if you try to suppress it, it hurts.

like most things in life really!

beesmum - behave!!!

GaryJ75 - you've just reminded me of the "kill or cure all" in Crete - reike! distilled sprit-cum-lighter fuel!!!!

TVW, Interesting. I heard that eating locally produced honey is good for allergies.....

Oh lordy - can't see what I'm typing now!!!

BM xxx

TVW - I never knew that about bees! What clever and generous little blighters they are!

Is it true about honey being good for wounds as well?

Quack (might change that for BUZZZZZZ)

Bond, I'm pleased to confirm that TVW is right. Local honey is very good for people with hayfever and sinusitis!

But manuka honey, as I have said before and I will say AGAIN and AGAIN, is the bees knees of honey!! It's antibacterial, has healing properties ... and I wish I had shares in it cos it costs a fortune, unfortunately!!!

I had a cold a few weeks ago and I slept and had hi doses of Vitamin C (the dissolvable orange flavoured ones from a certain supermarket) and drank lots of water.

I also took cold and flu relief when i was seriously congested.

CtD, Just make sure your boudoir is padded and sound-proofed (I am sure it is already) and you can make as much noise as you like......LOL

Dookegg and JLFB007... :)

Yep Bees are fab.. honey is a bit like onions , in that, it's great for all sorts of things but nobody really knows why- it just is.

My hubby told me about it recently when I was getting a cold - I said ..."What just honey and cinnamon?" He said , yep.... Two hours later... fit as a fiddle.. amazing!

TVWx

Sparkle and TVW, I will have to give the honey thing a try. Thanks.

TVW, i'm deffo going to try that if I feel a cold coming on. I love cinnamon.

T xx

OK TVW - Onions????????

Have I missed something Bond, BsMum, and CtD or am i just being blonde? (quite easily the latter!)

Quack

So is it just a teas spoon or a table spoon of honey a day? Is the cinnamon an every day thing as well?

Dook, they use manuka honey in some hospitals now and apply it to wounds, tc. If you google it you'll get all sorts of articles up.

Honey der der der de der der, ah sugar sugar der der der de der der, you are my candy giiiiiiirl .... and you got me wanting you ....

T x

Sing it sparkle.........

Stop changing the subject James - norty boy - off to the shed with you!!!!

Beesmum xxx

BeesMum, Do have to go alone........?

Oh just a teaspoon with a tiny pinch of cinnamon when you feel a bit blaaaaagh

Yeah Dookegg, onions are full of health restorative properties - no good for a cold - but great for skin complaints - digestive disorders and joint stiffness problems ... You've gotta eat em raw though .....
TVWx

TVW, can't do the raw onions.......

best in a salad sandwich...

i like raw onions but only in small quatities

is there a limit to the amount of grapes you can eat in one day? i have eaten qtr of a family pack already today

super bp x

There was a film called Holes about 2 boys who lived on raw onions when they escaped from a horrible detention centre in the australian outback (or something like that).

James - Steve already there!!! and Phoenix in the hot tub outside!!! Diva and me be along shortly!!

BM xxx

Ohhhhhh! Don't think I could do the raw onion bit either! except with grated cheese on a sarnie - now I'm hungry and I forgot to bring lunch today :-{

Don't worry Bond there's a hot tub down there now as well - Scanty Blue Trunks perhaps?

Quack

oh no Dook, not the scanties. Could never see the attraction of Bond in those ... men in tight underpants (and trunks) - yukkity!!!

The boudoir is indeed sound-proofed and padded. Padded in purple and black silk paddy stuff.

With a pink chaise longes.

Lawrence Llewellyn Bowen did it for me!!!

And the interior design ....

TVW - always sworn by honey but not had a cold for years - when/if I do....
not sure about the raw onions but somewhere at the back of my mind someone once told me if you left one out it collected all the nasty bugs around! Didn't last too long when I tried - it stank the kitchen out!!!

Beesmum xxx

Don't know if humans have a limit on grapes but apparently VVVVVV Bad for Dogs! However someone didn't tell our old Collie and he loves stealing them from the fruit bowl - his wee face lights up when they POP in his mouth!

Quack

Dook - have you got it now? - from about 19,22,24,26 etc onwards!!!

Beesmum xxx

Beesmum, you sound like you're shouting out in an American Football game - HUP!!!

CtD, I am sure he did.....LOL

Dook, hmmm not sure, we'll have to see about that one!!

BeesMum, excellent, I'll drink a bottle of something......

Sparkle, I never saw the attraction either, but then I wouldn't would I.....

Dook - I looked up what was bad for dogs to eat when my nutter was a puppy - frightened me to death - choc can kill as can onions and sultanas/grapes etc etc!! all bad! sigh

Beesmum xxx

Tins I'm not telling you again!!! - screen wipes - duh!

BM xx

PING *lightbulb on* Got it now!!!!!!

Diva Diva Diva *shaking head*

*nod, nod, wink, wink* Bond & BsMum

*gggggggg* (stevie stylie smilie)

!!!!!!!TOUCHDOWN!!!!!!!

Quack

Sparkle....LOL

We got there in the end Dook!! :-)

Right my lovelies, got to go. Might not be able to play out too much tomorrow cos I've got the accountant coming in. Will honey and onions work for that too???

Naughty Tinsel
T xxxxx

Diva, your image just so happens to be how it slipped in the first place. Docs not gonna see me until 7.00, so currently doing the Whose Line Is It Anyway game of Stand, Sit, Lean. Pain eases somewhat when I do all three at once.

think I'll have a bath in manuka honey and rub myself with onions and cinnamon - ooer!

MW, a!

LOL MWa, I love that game!!!

Hope you feel better soon with mega pain relief! That'll lern you and Errol!!!

T xxx

Honey if he's single and good looking, onions if he tries to explain double accounting...;)

TVWx

Sparkle, I think it will work if you pour the honey over him and the onion, well I'll leave that up to your imagination....LOL

HAHAHAHA (laughing like Shorty now)

You lot are brill!!!

T xxxx

A few years ago we had a NI inspector (evil person!) they spent 6 hours going through stuff and interviewing. They started bright enough but as the day wore on started snuffling, coughing, sneezing, streaming eyes and had to call it a day (and only after 6 hours - shame). Turned out they were allergic to cats and although we didn't have one at that office, the old office had one that I used to let in and obviously it shed hairs all over the paperwork!

Mr Egg has a good way of detering such people - he mucks out the cattle courts, comes in and sits next to the radiator and warms up!!!!!!!

Wag *nose peg on beak*

What about a cold that's been hanging on for weeks and weeks? Is it too late for onions and funny honey? I'm into my 5th week now. And I know I'm not eating enough fruit (veg is fine) because it somehow seems such a chore in winter. I forget to take pills regularly. And I go to bed too late. And sup the wine with enthusiasm and little persuasion. And I run on adrenalin. Oh yes and the odd fag.

hmmm, now I've written it like that I can see a few areas for improvement...
A x

I can't get rid of this cough - and I don't like honey - unless glazed over a smoked gammon joint!

I like my parsnips roasted in honey. Otherwise it's a bit too sweet for the likes of me.

HMmmmmm! Other things smothered in honey.................

No don't go there!!!!!

Quack

our parsnips a HUGE this year. must make some curried parsnip and apple soup come to think of it.

Dook, I think you need to join us in the shed....LOL. Oh and bring the honey......

Bragging again CtD...LOL

I Forgot to thin out my parsnips this year so I have lots and lots of them but none satisfactory in girth department!

Look out in the hot tub *SPLASH*!!!!!!

quack

Dook......LOL

OOOooooo! I think i've scared everyone off!!! sorry!

So Bond what's electrol fever like today in the US of A?

*feeble attempt at climbing out of the gutter*

Quack

Lady Boss gone home!! Hurrah!!!!!!

Honestly, I can't leave you lot alone for ten minutes .......

Diva it was Dook who emptied the hot tub with her Splash!!!

BM xxx