Kim & The Bump

The life of a first-time mum from bump to baby and beyond...

To Wean or Not to Wean!

4 months and 5 days old

Wow! Thought the sex was controversial... nothing compared to the weaning at 4 months or 6 months! I’ve been inundated with your opinions and views on the matter. I can’t believe there is such strong feeling about it. I also looked at what’s out there on the internet and I wish I hadn’t. One Baby Bible said I should wait, but other Baby Bibles say to feed!...

Seriously though... thank you for all your support... it’s great to know that: a) I’m not the only one going through this; b) it’s not going to last forever and c) there is help at hand. Thank you for all your advice… I can’t imagine not breast-feeding Emily… not yet!!

Steady On

4 months and 11 days old

Neil has suggested that we go away together - not just the three of us but with Rosie and Jude and Dinah for the weekend... this next weekend!!!! Apparently Rosie and Jude have been camping before... with Jude’s Mum... news to me... and they all had a great time... Me?... I’m not so sure... Emily’s just getting into some sort of a routine... and frankly the idea of sharing a tent with two teenagers, two babies and Neil is not my idea of fun... I’m thinking Yummy Mummy Spa day instead... what do you think?... Neil is reading my mind and has just walked in to say that Rosie, Jude and Dinah will be in a separate tent!... Suppose it makes a difference...

Baby-friendly-Camping

4 months and 12 days old

God you’re all so adventurous... I feel like the only one who hasn’t been away with their baby on: long haul flights; Caribbean cruises; city breaks; posh hotels; Paris to Dakar Rally; Tour de France!... That’s it we’re going. There’s supposed to be this really baby friendly camp site at Whitby... Neil’s been there before... loads of times with Jude... it’s’ what they used to do together... all these things that I don’t know about him... at least he’s got all the tackle... in more ways than one!!!... Hope it’s in full working order... no leaks... if it buckets it down!!! Some people have even been known to enjoy camping... Haven’t they???

Got the Kitchen Sink!

4 months and 16 days old

I’m knackered... and we haven’t even set off yet... Why is it that you are just starting to get something right... after it’s taken you four frigging months and then someone ratchets up the ante and you feel you’ve gone from second to sixth gear in the blink of a baby’s nappy... We must be mad... stark raving bonkers... I’m sitting here having a break from packing for a few minutes while Emily is asleep to write this and I am surrounded... knee deep... in... clobber... a mile high pile of baby grows… Not to mention the nappies... God!... I can’t do it!... I’m having anxiety attacks... pull yourself together girl... what can possibly go wrong on a camping holiday for two nights with five grown-ups (that’s if Rosie and Jude count as grown-ups - oh yes, they’re 16 now but can’t vote or drink legally) and two babies!!!!!... Oh My God!!!!

Kitchen Sink Packed!

4 months and 17 days old

Just in case you don’t hear from me again... I’m packed... Hooray!... Neil was responsible for the camping equipment and me for Emily... think Emily wins in the weight department if we were getting weighed at check in!! We’d be over... in excess baggage!!! Probably need a separate plane... Setting off at 10am in the morning... that’s the plan at least... HAHAHA!... AAHH!!... I better remember to pack some clean knickers for me... a plastic bag for me and the rest for Emily... Who’s bright idea was this?

Love you all! XXX

Wish You Were There!

4 months and 20 days old

We rule!... It was fab!... Just so great to get away from it all - the usual routines (know I’ve just got into a very imperfect one... I hear you all say) but you know what I mean!!... Will tell you more tomorrow... I’m still standing... but knackered!...

Costa del Whitby!

4 months and 21 days old

Do you know that Emily has had her best few night’s sleep since we went away - must be the sea air!! She’s managed a couple of nights of six hours without waking - a minor miracle for Little Miss Every Four Hours!!... Again last night... six hours... I think it’s also the example set by Dinah the Delightful and the Delectable... She’s amazing... sleeps through the night and I don’t think that Rosie has even heard of controlled crying never mind tried it... Both she and Jude are natural parents... and they’ve got the energy for it!!... Not like Neil and me - the old cronies!!

We arrived... not early afternoon as planned... more like afternoon tea time... and thank God, the weather was good and it didn’t rain... but Neil told Rosie and I to go and take the babies off for a walk in their prams... so we did... and... when we got back an hour or so later... the tents were up and they’d started cooking... Father and Son had a right routine going (that word again)... seasoned campers they are... and Neil opened a bottle of wine (I didn’t have any… still breast feeding!)… and we put the babies in their bouncy chairs and we had fantastic food with the most unbelievably awesome sea view. Bliss!

Wow!

4 months and 24 days old

WOAH! You’ve all got such strong opinions on it... drinking and breastfeeding... Some of you sound like my mother and think that a bit of gin, whisky, vodka, brandy (you name it) is good for both Mother and Baby and suggest your favourite tipple (No Joanglamgran87, I will not be dipping my nipple in brandy)... and... at the other extreme... some of you think you should be “teA”-total while you’re breastfeeding and that drinking alcohol is positively corrupting your poor, innocent child with the evils of the bottle!!!

That Woman Again

4 months and 27 days

Baby clinic today - went to get Emily weighed... she’s maintaining her magnificent position on the 75th centile... that’s my girl!! There is this woman who goes to Baby Clinic who irritates the hell out of me!!... We’re all there waiting to get our babies weighed and then want to get the hell out of there, but her... who will not be named... with little Caspar or Jaspar (not his real name) just talks at the top of her irritating voice about Jaspar this and Caspar that... as if she’s the only one in there... Who cares if he’s put on another pound since last week... the Freak!... Hope she doesn’t read this blog... who cares if she does! We ALL have lives TOO!!

Sixteen or Thirty Six?

5 months old

Thought for the Day!!... What is the best age to have a baby?... ever since I went away with Rosie and Jude, I can’t stop thinking about it... I’m old enough to be Rosie’s Mum, so at thirty six I could also be Dinah’s grandmother and here I am feeling I’m not even old enough to be a Mum... just starting to feel grown up myself. Did you know that more babies are born to women in their thirties now, than to women in their twenties... and... we’re leaving it later and later to have babies... and... yet your body is at its prime to have babies at sixteen... so they say... certainly feels like it to me!... Funny that... because in our society young Mums have such a hard time... Rosie’s brilliant... we could all learn something from her... When she’s thirty six she’ll be able to concentrate on her career... and... still look good... What am I saying?... I work in education... It should be education, education, education... That is the snag I guess... because it’s so much harder to return to education when you’re older...

Fifty Two

5 months and 1 day old

Thank you WiseOldBird51 who contacted me to say that she had her baby at fifty one and she is now fifty two and feels fabulous and thinks that she has got it right... she’s had her career, is financially secure and doesn’t feel that she has anything more to prove except to be there for her child and offer her wisdom to her... maybe there isn’t one way of doing motherhood... and... Good mothers come in all shapes and sizes... and... ages!

When Emily is sixteen, I will be fifty two... gulp!

Birthday Party

5 months and 4 days old

Such a special day - we all got together to celebrate the babies being five months old... when I say we, it was my group of Mums, my special, special Mums. We decided to meet in the park for a walk and then tea and cake in the cafe. All of us were there with our prams and our little gorgeous, coochie, cutie babies: Roanna with Sonny the Super Sleeper; Superwoman Dianne with Big Zack and Teeny, Tiny Hope who’s just a little doll; Vicky and Big, Bouncing Ben; Jasmin and the Princess Amber (like her Mum - beeaauutiful) and of course Rosie and the Delightful, Delectable Dinah. SOOOO good to see everyone. We talked and laughed... and... laughed and talked... and... then someone cried with happiness... or... because something sad has happened and then we laughed and talked... and... talked and laughed... and... cried some more.

Friends are so important... having babies is such an emotional roller coaster and it is friends that see you through it... Without my friends I wouldn’t have survived this last few months. I’ve laughed and cried so much that I am an expert on the emotional roller coaster - wanna ride?? We have shared so much... each other’s joy and sorrow. It is what life is about... I see it now... so clearly. Our babies are so lucky... because... they already have everything they need in life... plus love... and... of course... friends! #HappyDays!

Foot in Mouth

5 months and 7 days old

Babies are hilarious... and very clever! Have you ever tried to chew your own toes?... Urgh! Certainly not anyone else’s!... Bet you can’t... unless... you’re some bendy, yoga freak... but... Emily... my own little contortionist can sit for hours chewing her toes and playing with her feet... She’s definitely reached that oral stage... Freud would have a field day because everything has to go in her mouth and is a substitute for the nipple... She has all these beautiful toys... rattles, squidgy toys, cuddlies... that squeak and whistle... but it’s her own toes that keep her amused all day... she’s so cute when she’s chewing away!!!... if she doesn’t make Oxbridge she can always run away to the circus or Britain’s Got Talent.

All in the Genes!

5 months and 10 days

Thank you DoctorMummy42 for letting me know... so knowledgeably... that if Emily chews her toes... it most likely means that Neil or I did it at the same age... so... I’ve done my homework and guess what... you’re right... should’ve known that... you’re a doctor for God’s sake... apparently Neil had a toe fetish at the same age... need to book that pedicure now... his Auntie told me... and... she’s even sent me a picture of him doing it... Ahhh!... soooo cute... it’s freaky how like Emily he was at five months!!... The years have been cruel!!!

OMG! If Neil’s Auntie is reading this blog I better be careful what I write... so sorry... if I’ve ever offended you by writing anything negative about your favourite nephew!... As if... ?????...

Pelvic Floor or Pelvic Wet Floor

5 months and 12 days old

Flashback: Roanna, Jasmin and I in Parentcraft.

Now... be honest... hands up!... how many of you have remembered to do your pelvic floor exercises? How many of you have sat there thinking tighten... hold... one, two, three, four... release... repeat!!... It’s just not your priority... right!! When you have a baby or are having a baby there are many more priorities that are... quite frankly... higher up the pecking order... like having the baby for one thing... or... maybe even... getting some sleep... or even... having a shower or washing your hair!!!! STOP WHATEVER IT IS THAT YOU ARE DOING NOW AND PRIORITISE NOW... BECAUSE... IT IS MY PRIORITY NOW... It’s moved to the top of the list... Why?... I’m incontinent at 36... just like Emily... not as cute though!!

Why this sudden revelation?... I went for a walk with Roanna and Jasmin today and we were enjoying this lovely walk... pushing the buggies... at one with nature... watching the squirrels playing... when all of a sudden... this cavalcade... yes, that’s the word for it... like the charge of the light brigade... and this procession... what’s the plural of yummy mummies... a pram of yummy mummies, an air kiss of yummy mummies... mwah !!... come jogging passed, pushing their posh prams and their designer push chairs and their juicy couture... I’ve never laughed so much in my life... never... Jasmin goes and joins them at the end... running after them... impersonating them... sooo funny... and... then we start laughing... and... we can’t stop... and... then we start pissing ourselves... literally... and... then that just makes it worse... we’re crying with laughter... leaking at both ends... how humiliating... bet those jogging women with their tight abs and tight arses don’t leak... oh well, if you can’t beat them... join them!

In the Club

5 months and 13 days old

I’ve signed us up... Roanna, Jasmin and I are joining the Mums on the Run!! We might just get fit with it... might... It’s not as bad as it sounds or looks. They meet at 10.30 at the Park gates... and... run for a bit and then go for coffee and cake in the cafe... I suppose if all else fails, I could just join them for coffee and cake!!!!

In the Groove

5 months and 16 days old

I met Roanna and Jasmin shopping today for running gear, because we have to look the part... They’re both having second thoughts... but... when Jasmin tried on some of the gear, she changed her mind. She’s bought herself this very trendy little headband... she looks proper swag #down withthekidzzzz!!!!... matches her running gear. She’s got a matching one for Princess Amber of course... like mother like daughter... Roanna just looks sophisticated in whatever she wears - she is a natural Yummy Mummy... It’s me that worries me!... gulp... Ladies and the tramp!!

Bugger boo Champions!

5 months and 19 days old

We did it!!... We rule!... Kept going for a mile and a half... like three naughty schoolgirls at the back of the cross country... lagging behind... but we did it... Felt so proud of ourselves... Paula Radcliffe eat your heart out!!... I bet she doesn’t have a big piece of chocolate fudge cake and a cappuccino when she’s run one and a half miles... but I tell you what... it tasted good... best piece of cake I’ve ever had...

Hope Jasmin is ok... she looked a bit green at the end of the run and then I bought her a piece of carrot cake... it’s her favourite... she couldn’t eat it... Oh well! I hate to see waste (or my waist), so I ate it for her... it’s not like her... Not bad eh?... According to Tracy our running instructor, I burnt 125 calories doing the run today... and then ate 1086 calories of cake!! I think I deserved it... I’m breastfeeding for God’s sake!!
#Who’sCountingAnyway!

To Work or Not to Work?

5 months and 21 days old

That is the question... the million dollar question!!... When’s the right time to go back to work? Did you know that in Sweden, parents are entitled to 480 days of paid parental leave?... That’s like a year and a half... In the great US of A they get all of six weeks... and that’s if they’re lucky.... How’s that possible? Two of the richest countries in the world... and... yet they're so different? I know which country I’d rather be living in right now... I read in the paper about this high flying executive woman who’s 51... she’s just gone on maternity leave... returning to work after three months... the stock exchange is panicking about her absence because they think the company won’t manage without her... only some poor little business... like Marks and Spencers... tiny really... the pressure!... Don’t think I’m in that position... Thank God!... It’s bad enough having to decide when to go back without thinking that some pension fund is going to collapse without you... Thankfully I don’t have to think about it for a few more months yet!

Nightmares!

5 months and 26 days old

Thinking about work has given me nightmares! I woke up - not my usual two times in the night... but an extra three... in a cold sweat... I walked into the staffroom carrying Emily... and... everyone turns round to look at me... it’s in the middle of break... and... I trip up over this pile of books that some stupid person has left in the middle of the floor and Emily goes flying through the air and lands on Mrs Somersby’s lap - the head of History - she’s scary... a real life witch... Everyone turns round and looks at me with one thought going through their head... the worst thought in the world... BAD MOTHER!!

Who reads this Blog?

5 months and 27 days old

OMG!... How can I be so stupid?... I didn’t think... Do you think anyone at school reads this blog?... Rosie did... that’s how I got to know her... I’m dead... past tense... if they do... I’m this woman who talks about sex (or lack of it) and tits and arses... and... of course... Mrs Somersby... my favourite colleague... she’s a lovely woman... really kind... the children all love her... promise... OMG... I’m going to be hauled before the head when I go back!

Where does the time go?

6 months old!

My little Treasure Pie is six months old today... OMG can’t believe it!... Where’s it gone?... Blink and you’ll miss it!... So glad I’m not back at work... there’s no way I could have left her now... we’re going out tonight... en famille... to celebrate her half year birthday... there’s this new pizza place opened up the road... can’t wait!!

At six months I feel I should write about what Emily’s doing now... well... she’s still on the 75 centile at a whopping 17lbs and 10ozs... think most of it is on her thighs... like Mummy... but it looks so good on her that you could eat her... gorgeous, chubby thighs... and I forgot to tell you... she’s sitting up now... loves sitting up and jabbering away... no teeth yet (thank goodness)... she’s very smily and to be honest up until now... very bald... but she’s just getting these beautiful little curls coming through... I think she might be a gin-ger... like me... Bald, fat and ginger... BEAUTIFUL... just the way I like ‘em.

Oh yes... daren’t mention this after all the fuss last time... I’ve decided that I’m still not going to wean her yet... going to wait a bit longer... she’s more or less breast feeding on demand... my milk flow has increased... and she’s happy... so am I... keeping her as close to me as possible for as long as possible...

Ok! I’ve told you now... #NoDrama!