Eating crisps and saving billions

If I was put in charge of spending cuts, then I would cut the amount of money spent on the pointless sculpture that is being built for the Olympics, what is it meant to be anyway (even Boris doesn't know)

I agree - I think far too much money is being spent on trivial luxuries such as the Olympics. I mean, they spent far too much money on designing the logo, let alone what they'll spend on the actual event.
I'd probably raise tax on alcohol, cigarettes and other substances that the media complain about.

I think we should raise money by selling raffle tickets, with the prise of cheese, to other countries. :)

fun run. gotta be.

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A big fancy dress day were everyone has to pay to dress up and iif they dont pay the have to spend the day naked!!

Stop making Crisp's

get your baby sitter to rent you child off you insted of paying then to look after then.

Take money from criminals who are sent to prison for life
, they cant exactly use it lol

Big wet t-shirt contest and invite lots old wealthy men.

People should support the Robin Hood Tax.

my idea to raise money would be to take one weeks wages off of every professional footballer in england as that would add up to a substantial amount of money

I completely agree with Katy's comment. Also, how about politians themselves? Can't they stay in premier inns or travelodges instead of 5 star hotels?

I think that we should get rid of X Factor. It's such a pointless programme anyway. Or maybe, like you suggested during your points of view about the Liverpool takeover, just give footballers minimum wage. That'd certainly get them to shut up and actually play! :D

tombolla

1. I would turn Big Ben into a HUGE helta skelta and charge people to have a go!
2. Destroy/burn half of all the money in UK so inflation rates drop drastically.
There the only 2 plausable ideas i could think of...

sponsor Ed Miliband to smile and/or have a facelift.

A massive cake sale!

Hire Boris Johnson out to other countries to make their leaders look competent by comparison. I think King Jong Il would love Boris wandering around his palace talking about cycling and 'wiff waff'.

Or put Tony Blair in one of those stocks that you used to have on fun days with your teachers... £1 a sponge or £10 for something more 'unpleasant' :)

Why not cut MPs and the PMs wages? They really dont need or deserve all the money they earn!

How about a Russell Raffle? Have a raffle with russell howard, russell brand etc as prizes? :)

I think any money should be given to those who have been hit hardest by the cuts. The whole of moray depends on raf kinloss and now we are going to lose a lot of money

Threaten to send David Cameron to America and see how much money they send us not to? Hehe

Stop paying the politicians, instead companies could sponsor them and they'd have to wear their sponsors logos attached to their clothing (like Formula 1 drivers overalls but on their suits instead).

Stop giving money to the royal family! Instead, open up all of Buckingham Palace and charge people to wander around and see the Queen in her 'natural surroundings'... like a zoo only less cruel ;-)

tax on people who wear SuperDry

I agree with Orion. The Robin Hood tax would take a tiny percentage (amouting to a lot of cash in real terms) from the financial sector, and pump it in to worthy causes - NHS, schools, climate change, poverty.

"A Robin Hood Tax on the financial sector could raise at least £20bn a year in the UK and part of the revenue raised could go towards helping reducing the deficit, making the worst cuts unnecessary." - Max Lawson, spokesperson for the campaign.

A pretty good idea, I'd say.

Love the show. Here are some funny news stories which might be of interest

Weatherman warns of penis shaped storm - accidental graphic.
https://newslite.tv/2010/10/25/weatherman-warns-of-penis-shap.html

Runaway buffalo found in neighbour's pool
https://www.metro.co.uk/weird/845233-runaway-buffalo-found-in-neighbours-swimming-pool

TV camera smashed by stray baseball bat - cameraman continues shooting.
https://newslite.tv/2010/10/21/tv-camera-smashed-by-stray-bas.html

Bomb squad investigate suspicious package -- find kittens
https://www.heraldsun.com.au/news/breaking-news/florida-bomb-squad-defuses-a-box-of-kittens/story-e6frf7jx-1225943675089

Hola Russell, totally agree with the idea of a Robin Hood tax, makes sense really.

On a lighter note, I'd put people like this budding entrepreneur from Australia in charge of the CBI: https://www.digitalspy.co.uk/odd/news/a283146/topless-hair-salon-launched-in-australia.html

Really made me chuckle, get a hair-cut and have a 'work out', "that sounds like a really good idea".

Can't wait for the show tomorrow! Hope you'll be wearing your super s3xy specs!

Laura & Adeel xx

Make all the clothing in the world made by Asian children. :)

Heeeeeey how are you russell really excited went down today and got your tickets for the first of march in belfast cant wait me and my best friend kirsty love you so much and have never missed a show xxxxxxx u will see us there with are banner and t-shirt's love you loads kaitlyn and kirsty ♥ are nickname is (rhkk which stands for russell howard kirsty and kaitlyn) ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ we love u!! ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

now russell. me and my best friend Kaitlyn is going to see you on the 1st of March :D and we cant wait. i mean it, we have never missed one show, and o here watch out on that day cause we will be on row 25. :) with are big banner. :D:D so just look out for us :D we both love you so much and do you really have a girlfriend?:O xxxxxxx

^^ You two are lucky sods to be seeing him live! In an arena. Which is REALLY big, so it'll be hard to get close to him. I, on the other hand, am going to see the recording of Good News in two weeks. Might be in the front row, if really lucky. KABANGA! ;D x

Everyone at 10 Downing st should do a sponsored fancy dress day, when they turn up for work with bad hair and stupid costumes. Anyone who doesn't take part could be egged xD

paul the octupus has died. R.I.P. Paul

Okay so this is from something pretty old but I've wanted to put it on something like this for a while now. Back in I think series one during the demonstrations outside the BBC when Nick Griffin was on question time you showed a load of clips of that guy who kept appearing behind the cameras. Since then I've seen him loads! He was on camera when the BA strikers were over ruled outside the court house and I've seen him a couple of times when they were interviewing people outside the old bailey. Dunno if you can dig those clips up or if anyone else has spotted him!

Woman wakes up to find intruder in her bed. Her brother Antoine Dodson has something to say about it!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EzNhaLUT520&feature=player_embedded

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hMtZfW2z9dw&feature=player_embedded



This is TOO funny but kinda messed up at the same time. Enjoy!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vqq_cAz_PPY&feature=player_embedded

I just want to ask Russell a question, but first I will tell you a story about a dream that I had the other night (Don't worry- this will lead to the question). My dream was that Russell had died and there was a big ceremony commemorating his life, and that the Queen decided to make a speech, and then said one of his most famous jokes- she had a duvet and pulled it up right to her head, goes to Phillip and said: "Look at me Phillip, I'm a stamp!". Now, I know that this is a VERY weird dream, and you'll definitely think that I'm a nutter, but I just want to know- What was the craziest dream that you've ever had/that you can remember? :)

i dont know where im ment to write my comment for you to say in your show so ill write it here lol..... i think you should mention about the man/women who got hit by a train... the man dressed as a women ...

Cutest thing ever?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TtbrLIwKWWA

:)

save money by giving bikes to old ladies ! think about it they could patrol the streets (cut the police budget) hand out helpful energy saving advice (shouldn't you be wearing a jumper) plus it would keep them active (saving to the NHS)and no need for bus passes (transport).I think it would raise the nations spirits to see cycling OAP's.

Hi Russell, only us again. Think we've left a comment a day so far, trying hard to resist any more than that lest we get labelled as obsessed...

Talking about cuts and, last week, about fees, saw this and had to show you: https://www.metro.co.uk/weird/845240-students-being-taught-to-cook-roadkill-for-dinner-to-stave-off-debts

Feed the students and help clear the roads at the same time...? Hmmm, not our thing like but...yea, not sure how to finish that! lol

Can't wait for the show tonight!! Mega Excited!

Laura & Adeel
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

PS. You look soooooooo HOT in your Diesel jeans!! xxx

here's two ideas...

ban golf. It must cost alot to make those small, grass hills so green!
use the money wisely from things you have to pay for that you shouldn't. I.E public loos. 50p to use a toilet?! no wonder people pee in doorways.

also here's a question for you:
If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you live?

loved the first episode btw, can't wait till tonight's!!
xxx
mimi

Simple. Sell Wales.

hey, my mate Aiden Pestell walked 100miles from Leamington Spa to London, it took him 4 days to complete. (Aiden Pestell from Myton school to Westminster - this was his final destination after walking over 100 miles from Warwick in aid of Myton Hospice - a truly amazing achievement.) chris white the local MP greeted him at the house of commons. https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10150092203852425&set=a.491267477424.277421.710377424

Join all of the countries together to make one individual country called "Earth". Yes, just like Pangaea :)

has anyone seen the news on yahoo about the time traveller in the charlie chaplin movie 1928, they are claiming that there is a woman on a mobile phone back in 1928. you can get the clip on youtube. its so funny. you have to have a look at this. the funny thing is it does not look like a woman

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aJ26MgzNCyA
this is where she is meant to be its so funny lol

hello :)
Errrm i think this is where i comment, well i hit the comment button sooooooo i gather i'm typing in the right place :p
I love Good news haha and i don't know if this would be any use to you guys but i found it and it made me smile

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gIf4ogjZkFo

i don't know haw recent it is :s but i hope you like it :)

Hey Big fan of good news saw this ages ago and thought it would make a great good news story.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ciYk-UwqFKA

Cheers
Sam

Hello Russell and Crew,
Trying to think of something funny and witty about the cuts..
yet I cant find anything funny in it..
other than ..
if we could very sneakily..
overnight..
(so as not to pre-warn anyone)..
Change some banking regulations and Tax all British Tax Havens..
apparently 200 billion in Guernsey alone ! ..
now if that was to happen..
now that would be funny..
I would laugh for a very long time..
.. laughing at the people who until now thought they had stolen from the State.
Make 'Tax Dodging' an 'Act of Treason'.. Stealing From the State!

ok.. I was right with my first thought..
there is nothing funny about these cuts..
just moral outrage and futile indignation.
x

ps. thanks for reading to my little rant.. I feel a little better now.
x

Oh dear Josie Russell, you had to mention Pangaea, didn't you? One of my areas of interest...:)

As for ideas for cuts or raising money, I'd reckon the stocks idea could work. Every week hold a vote to decide which one of three people should be placed in the stocks for a whole day, then charge a small amount of money to throw things at them. Get money from the text votes and from the cost of throwing things at them. People keep on voting on X factor and strictly, so they should do so for this...:)

@BurgessShale- What are you on about? :)

plz do peckom termonater it if funny

do time team it is rubbish an the people on sound like farmers

This week Northumbria Students' Union created a video to emphasise the true cost of learning and the effects that a rise in tuition fees would have on Northumbria Students and students on a national level. Hope you enjoy it:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dRtEbVJZod8

What about selling the Mp's To the highest bidder ?

Scarlett Shaunii Megz
x

to raise money i would sell celebrities on ebay or our school did a house dance festival where we made our teachers dress up as singers and perform their dance routines e.g. beyonce-single ladies,cheryl cole-fight for this love and spice girls where one of our male teachers dressed as ginger spice and flashed his boxers to everyone when he tried to jump and do the splits so if we hold lots of them around the country and have people you know make a fool of themselves you could raise alot of money whilst laughing

Hi. Love the show. Here's a story I thought you might like (hope the link works)...
It's a wrap - flatmates foil student - National - NZ Herald News
https://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/article.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=10683051
Elaine

Here's a video that i find quite funny :)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_VtTzI69hvw

Hmmm! I wouldn't know how to save the £81bln they need, but I think I know a guy that can. His name is Jimmy McMillan whose running for the state of New York with his party aptly named 'The Rent Is Too Damn High' party. Check his recent debete on the link

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x4o-TeMHys0

Hillarious.

to save billions we should sell water to pakistan

or we could have a sponsord chase david cameron down the streets of london event

soz ment out of the uk