Every Marvel movie ranked from worst to best

There are 14 films in the Marvel Cinematic Universe – or MCU, for short – with Benedict Cumberbatch’s Doctor Strange the latest in Disney’s on-going mission to make ALL the superhero movies ALL the time.

So just to start a debate – and be a bit purposefully controversial – here are all of Marvel’s movies so far, ranked from worst to best, by me. Please note: all of Fox’s X-Men movies (including Deadpool) are not included in this list, though they are based on Marvel comic-book characters.

Oh, and the same goes for Daredevil, Electra, both Ghost Riders, all three Blades, both Punishers, both original Fantastic Fours and the reboot, as well as any of the Spider-Mans (though the new Spider-Man, out in 2017, is part of the MCU, and so will count, eventually).

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AKA the film Marvel – and Ed Norton – would rather forget. Murky, lumpy and thoroughly uninspired, it’s the only real black spot on the MCU’s roster. Tim Roth’s Abomination was literally an abomination.

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Plus points: Scarlett Johansson’s Black Widow, the suitcase suit and Don Cheadle’s War Machine.

Minus points: Mickey Rourke’s accent (and pet bird), a very noisy plot and a terrible waste of Sam Rockwell.

In a word: Disappointing.

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The first Thor sequel was let down on a number of fronts, most notably the “Who?” villain (Christopher Eccleston), not forgetting the increasingly weak relationship between Jane (Natalie Portman) and Thor (Chris Hemsworth) and a generally lacklustre directed-by-committee atmosphere.

What saves it is the 10 megaton charm bomb of Hemsworth and Hiddleston, sparking off each other in the best love-hate relationship in all the nine realms.

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Good old-fashioned pulpy biff-Hydra-in-the-face fun, it’s no surprise The First Avenger was directed by The Rocketeer’s Joe Johnston, as both films share a sense of delightful derring-do, with characters at their heart that are admirable, lovable and true.

Plus, that ‘Star-Spangled Man With A Plan’ song is damn catchy.

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On the surface, Thor shouldn’t have worked. It’s just too out there, too barmy, too… ridiculous. But somehow the combination of Chris Hemsworth, Natalie Portman, Tom Hiddleston and Hannibal Lecter himself, Anthony Hopkins, made this Norse knockabout comedy-drama click, with Thor’s fish-out-of-water hijinks perfectly complimenting breakout star Hiddleston’s Shakespearean sneakiness.

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Visually stunning, gloriously imaginative and… a little bit formulaic, structure-wise. The so-so jokes didn’t help, but if there’s one thing Benedict Cumberbatch can do really, really well, it’s play a endearing egomaniac, and that’s exactly what Dr Stephen Strange is.

Much like Tony Stark, but that’s by the by.

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Disjointed and a smidge disappointing, Ultron had a lot to live up to after the first Avengers’ box office-smashing success, and while it jumps from place to place erratically, stunning set-pieces like The Hulk vs Hulkbuster and the sheer star wattage of its cast pull it through.

Returning director Joss Whedon deserves some sort of medal for choreographing the gymnastics display that was ALL the stars’ diary management, by the way.

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Funny, slick, silly and featuring the best Michael Pena performance since End Of Watch – and that’s one hell of a compliment, trust me – it was a minor miracle that Ant-Man worked at all, after original director Edgar Wright dropped out due to “creative differences” and Peyton Reed stepped in.

The Thomas The Tank Engine moment stole the show, but none of it would work if Paul Rudd wasn’t in the shrinking suit, what with him being one of the most charming human beings in existence, whether he’s microscopic or GIANT-SIZED.

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Perhaps the most divisive film in the MCU, Iron Man 3 managed to seriously irritate die-hard comic-book fans of Iron Man’s big bad The Mandarin while delivering one of the best BIG twists of the whole franchise.

Witty, weird and more than a little bit meta, this is an acquired taste, but it’s a taste A LOT of people ended up acquiring, currently sitting at number three in Marvel’s box office league tables, earning $1.2 billion worldwide.

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The most out-and-out fun Marvel movie yet, GOTG took talking racoons, dancing sentient trees and metaphor-avoiding meatheads and smushed them together to make a supremely entertaining space opera with the catchiest soundtrack since Reservoir Dogs.

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Underneath it all, The Winter Soldier is a clever little conspiracy thriller, an edgy mix of your usual EVERYTHING IS BLOWING UP! superhero pomp with a dash of genuine suspense and paranoid are-they-watching-me on-the-run fun.

Whether you were already a fan of the franchise or a total newcomer, The Winter Soldier delivered.

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The Avengers movie Avengers: Age Of Ultron wanted to be, Civil War managed to be the busiest Marvel movie yet, while still somehow leaving the characters room to breathe, anchored around the warring leaders of Iron Man and Captain America.

They even found time to introduce a brilliant new Spider-Man, as well as Ant-Man’s Giant Man incarnation, an incredible Black Panther and an ingenious ret-conned backstory that ties together Tony Stark, The Winter Soldier and Steve Rogers. Masterful.

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There’s only one thing actively wrong with The Avengers. Okay, two: the somewhat ropey first 15 minutes and Captain America’s appallingly rubbery costume. The rest – Tom Hiddleston, the “puny God” thumping, Iron Man’s self-sacrifice, the shawarma credit sting, the science bros best friendship, Cap’ telling The Hulk to smash – was all gold. $1.5 billion’s worth of gold.

The original and best? I like to think so. Robert Downey Jr’s debut as everyone’s favourite genius billionaire playboy philanthropist is just so incredibly enjoyable, approachable, smart, fun and (occasionally) thought-provoking that no other Marvel movie since has properly matched it for sheer rewatchability.

If there’s someone out there in the world who’s never seen a Marvel movie, Iron Man is the one to watch first, and for so many reasons. In short: not bad.