Radio 3 Comic Relief 2015

It’s #rednoseday and we want your finest music-related jokes.

Send them in to us and we’ll publish our favourites here throughout the day.

Tweet @BBCRadio3 #rednoseday text 83111 or email 3breakfast@bbc.co.uk.

Why couldn't Beethoven find his teacher? Because he was Haydn... Chris via twitter

Thanks to the BBC Symphony Orchestra for this percussion pun

You say CarmEENA I say CarMINA. Let's call the whole thing Orff. @oliverizod via twitter

Is it true Delius used to supplement his income by writing cookery books? No - that’s a Delius myth David via email

Woof = Bach. Woof woof woof woof woof = Offenbach Roshan Reynolds via email

How many choral conductors does it take to change a light bulb? Who knows, no one ever watches! Clare Orrell via email

Two double bass players were arguing during a rehearsal - the conductor stopped the rehearsal to ask what was going on.

"He's de-tuned one of my strings" said one of the bassists.

"Well sort it out and let's get on" replied the conductor. The rehearsal continued and the players started arguing again.

"What now?" said the conductor

"He won't tell me which string"

David P via email

Why should you never go parachuting with Philip Glass? Because his chords are always broken. #rednoseday @Concretism via twitter

@BBCRadio3: Good morning! The Breakfast studio is ready to kick off #rednoseday @PetrocTrelawny

How do you fix a broken brass instrument? - Simple, just use a Tuba glue! #rednoseday @BBCRadio3 Alan Cameron via twitter

What do you get when you drop a piano down a mine shaft? A-flat minor! Anon via text

How many trumpet players does it take to pave a driveway? Eight... but only if you lay them out in a nice symmetrical pattern. Nick Must, Facebook

What's the difference between a viola and an onion? No-one cries when you cut up a viola. David Willink, Facebook

Why are viola jokes so short? So that violinists can remember them. Judith Ogden, Facebook

How long does it take to tune a banjo? Nobody knows. Calstock Arts, Facebook

How do you know when there's a drummer at your front door? The knocking speeds up. Nick Must, Facebook

#rednoseday I love John Cage - but ever since I set him as a ringtone I've started missing all my phone calls. Andrew Davies via twitter

A B flat, a G flat, and an E flat walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "Sorry, we can't serve minors." Dan Keep, Facebook

How many folk singers does it take to change a lightbulb? 5. One to change the bulb, and four to sing a song about how good the old lightbulb used to be. John Alder, Facebook

What's the difference between a french horn player and a conductor? Two bars. Mark Wilde, Facebook