Harry Baker's 24 Christmases on Earth

Award-winning slam poet and spoken word artist Harry Baker finds touchpoints for all ages in an advent calendar of personal memories for each of his 24 years. Here's a taster (the pictures are real) ...

1. It’s not realising it and yet being the centre of attention.

2. It’s being more excited about the wrapping paper than the present.

3. It’s just about grasping the concept of December

4. It's loving it at the time but still being too young to remember.

Star quality

5. It's the school Nativity. Where you don’t have to be the star to be the star of the show.

6. It’s writing Christmas cards for everybody in the class, because they sell them in packs of thirty and why wouldn’t you want to be friends with everyone.

Short trousers

7. The truth about father Christmas is that sometimes he gets my Uncle Steve to help out when things get really busy...

8. It's a joint Christmas AND birthday present for you AND your brother.

9. It’s discussing when you’re allowed to get up, instead of when you have to sleep.

10. It’s wearing shorts every single day of the year while you still can, because when you start secondary school you will be forced to wear long trousers against your will.

11. It's arriving sodden into Period 3 French: 'Pardon – sorry I’m late, miss. There was traffic because of the snow.' Which is technically true. It’s her saying that she taught your brother and she knows you walk to school.

12. It’s deciding to go to the Cinema as a family on Christmas Eve. Not knowing this will become a tradition you stick to more closely than any mince pies or mistletoe.

13. It’s Beth saying she respects your music taste but it is seriously lacking in Christmas songs.

14. Mum’s been asked to do the Christmas morning Sermon, to go out live on BBC. Five minutes before broadcast, you’re asked if you and Joel wouldn’t mind moving from the front row: his current attempt at an Afro is blocking the people behind.

15. Being up and awake getting to make first footprints in the snow. Texting the mates you know will check their phones before looking out the window.

16. It’s going to Midnight Mass the night before so you can have a lie-in on Christmas morning. Checking the Order of Service for carols as soon as you’ve sat down: fingers crossed for "O come all ye faithful", because that is an absolute belter.

17. It’s going with mum to help pick out a Christmas tree. Last year dad was in charge and it ended up as a pile of sticks in a pot with some baubles on top.

18. It’s finding out your uncle Steve has an old snowboard in the Garage.
If it settles we can definitely give it a go.
It is North Devon turned North Pole
It is less than 2 inches of snow.
It’s after you bro!

...

It’s broken collarbone.

19. It is doing Christmas together for the first time as a couple.
She bought you a T-shirt with a dinosaur on it because you have a poem about dinosaurs.
You have no idea just how well you will eventually get to know each other.
Especially given that you will break up one month later.
You will not be able to stop wearing that t shirt.

20. It’s Grandma starting a competition on Mum’s side of the family.
Who can make the best stocking/bauble/place mat/tree?

21. It’s living in Germany and realising they do Christmas SO much better than we do.
Learning that Glühwein really does make your insides glow

22. It’s a second chance to do Christmas together for the first time as a couple.

She bought you some chocolate-shaped dinosaurs because she knows how much it winds you up still being given themed gifts for a poem you wrote 5 years ago.

23. It’s volunteering to cook a Vegan Christmas Dinner this year because of Mum’s treatment.
It’s being especially grateful for family this year,
And ever thankful you have Grace to hold your hand.

24. It is one year since mum’s been given the all clear.
It is a unanimous decision that this year’s film will be star wars.
It is still dairy free but maybe the occasional pig in blanket.
It’s your niece not realising it and yet being the centre of attention. Knowing as she turned 1 this year, she still has everything ahead of her.
It’s being grateful for your blessings, and as Chance the Rapper said,
You made it through this far, are you ready for the next?

This is only a taster! For the unabridged Christmas Meditation with Harry Baker, tune in to the broadcast on Monday 26 December at 00.17am.