Six of the Most Utterly Ridiculous Visions of the Future
From the dawn of literary time, imagination-fuelled authors have attempted to portray the world around them in some futuristic light. Often they get it right. Other times they get it horribly, horribly wrong.
Television, novels and, particularly, cinema is filled with bizarre conceits and implausible activities that couldn’t possibly happen. Here’s a smattering of the worst offenders…
1. The multiple ties of Back to the Future Part II
Has any film provoked more disappointment about the years to come than Back to the Future Part II? Where are our hover boards? Our self-tying shoes? Our mobility devices that make old people travel upside down for obscure reasons?
Instead we saw a world where men wore two ties around their neck.
From holographic 3D sharks advertising Jaws 19 to sleek flying cars, there has never been so much offered that has failed to deliver. It was spot on about drones, biometrics and video conferencing, but we’re still waiting for hipsters to pass off the film's double tie look in a social setting. Surely it’s only a matter of time?
2. Pointlessly odd names in Just Imagine
Just Imagine is brilliant. It’s a vision of 1980, made in 1930, and is consistently weird beyond belief. You can extract babies from vending machines (and you get to pick the sex!). Everyone travels via cumbersome aircraft. Food and booze comes in pill form. Trained Martian orangutans entertain baffled earthlings. And, most futuristically, conventional names have been abandoned in favour of monikers such as J-21, RT-42, B-36 and Single O. Oh, and it’s a musical.
3. The horrifying government head in The Perfect Weapon
What could be worse than a brutal totalitarian government that oversees your every move and controls all aspects of your life? How about if the guy running this Orwellian state is Steven Seagal! Picture that! Big Steve’s face being beamed into your home and appearing billboard-sized on every street corner burbling propaganda while wearing orange-tinted granny glasses.
For some reason that’s the fate of the world in The Perfect Weapon where it is the year 2045 and the baddies have names like ‘The Director’ and ‘The Controller’. And what’s worse (or possibly better) Steven Seagal only appears for roughly five minutes.
4. Dragons in Reign of Fire
Next in our list of ridiculous visions is the rebirth of ancient dragons in the film Reign of Fire. It’s 2020 and a family of ancient dragons responsible for the extinction of the dinosaurs, are flying around terrorising people and eating them willy nilly. Whilst it’s possible to suspend your disbelief as you watch the movie, the actual prospect of that happening in three years times is pretty unlikely.
Dangerous Visions returns to Radio 4
A season of dramas and readings presenting uneasy reflections of the future, mixing sci-fi classics with brand new writing and a strong line-up of acting talent. All programmes will be available to listen to online or to download via the BBC iPlayer Radio app for 30 days.
Dramas include a darkly comic updating of Kafka's classic Metamorphosis; the dystopian comedy Perimeter, written by and starring Josie Long and Liam Williams; and a new adaptation of Darkness at Noon, Arthur Koestler's nightmarish portrait of a totalitarian state. There is also a brand new reading by Alex Jennings of Ray Bradbury's visionary cult classic Fahrenheit 451.
5. Unimaginatively named evil corporations in Highlander II: The Quickening
The year is 1994. Or possibly 1999. Or 2024. Just like Highlanders, this sequel to Highlander skids about in time to a certain degree and it’s not always clear where you are. The ozone layer has vanished. It’s been replaced by a magical shield that keeps the human race alive while simultaneously making them miserable. And, sadly, this ‘faux-zone layer’ has been taken over by an evil corporation (very popular in future times). The name of this vile, sprawling conglomerate? THE SHIELD CORPORATION. The boring name is just one of the many futuristic disappointments in this baffling, baffling film. There should have been only one… Highlander film.
6. The nun with the gun in Freejack
Freejack has it all. Strange blobby transportation devices. Check. Obscure day-glo drinks served by damaged bartenders. Check. Computer animation that looks like it was done on a BBC Micro. Check. Yes, this must be the future.
It's the future of 2009 to be exact and man has devised time travel. So how does it utilise this miraculous fact? By popping back to the 1990s and stealing the healthy bodies of people like Emilio Estevez so the CEOs of evil corporations can achieve immortality. Obviously. Mick Jagger is a mumbling bounty hunter and Rene Russo plays a nun armed to the teeth who appears to have sauntered in from another film entirely.
