Seven steps to a happier life

Hands up who started 2017 on a quest for self-improvement, insisting ‘this year’s going to be DIFFERENT!’? Despite our good intentions, sticking with resolutions and remembering ‘life-changing’ advice is easier said than done once January’s over.

What we need are REALISTIC goals and SIMPLE life lessons – something Woman’s Hour guests have been sharing by the bucket load. Here are their TOP rules to live by in 2017 that *crosses fingers* should see us sail through till Christmas…

Yes smartphones take pretty pictures and can help while away hours on public transport, but with the handy added 'bonus' of work emails at your fingertips, it's all too easy to forget you have the right to switch off.

“It’s so easy to just keep on working, to just do another round of emails when you get home - and actually that isn’t good for us,” says Dr Almuth McDowell from Birkbeck University.

“Our bodies are not hardwired to have our arousal levels peaking continuously. It’s important that we give people breathing space - we need down time, we need to switch off, eat properly and exercise. We need to have a life outside work too.”

If that shiny new running gear still has the tags on, remember there’s a reason ‘Just do it’ is the motto of choice for a certain sportswear giant. There’s no other way. If you want to be a runner… you’ve just got to start running!

“Don’t allow it to be a you that you imagine will be perfect,” says Alexandra Heminsley, who has written books about conquering both running and swimming.

“Don’t set too much stall on the idea of what something will give you – do the thing, without this huge burden of ‘and then I’ll be happy’. Just do the thing and it will either make you happy or you’ll find something else. Take the pressure off yourself.”

Financial journalist Michelle McGagh set herself the – admittedly extreme - challenge of not spending money for a whole year. And she hasn’t looked back.

“I am less concerned with status, I’m less worried that people are judging me on what I have or what kind of trainers I wear, rather than who I am.

“I had to find new ways to have fun, lots of free events I’d probably been a bit too lazy to do before and had just ended up in the pub. I did things I would never have done, I challenged myself to go out and push the boundaries a little bit with my life and that made me incredibly happy.”

In fact psychologist Helga Dittmar, who studies consumer-culture and happiness, says striving for possessions that bring status in the belief it will “lead to a better life” actually makes us LESS happy – with links to lower self-esteem, mental health problems like depression and anxiety, and even poor physical health. So ditch the stuff!

The secret to a happier life? Simple! Be kind to others, according to positive psychology expert Vanessa King, who wrote Ten Keys to Happier Living.

“Human beings are social creatures, so it follows that one of the most important things for psychological wellbeing is feeling connected to other people.

“Just a moment of interaction, literally seconds - a smile to somebody, an acknowledgement - that person feels seen and that moment of social connection sets up physiological as well as psychological responses in our bodies.

“The problem is when we are wound up in our own problems and worries, we turn introspective - we don’t even notice when people need things. But when we do something kind for another person… not only is it nice for them, it’s good for you too.”

“We all have these thought bubbles - ‘I’m not good enough, I’m going to get caught’ - we have to learn to navigate those,” says Ruby Wax, who claims learning about mindfulness changed her life.

“Nothing will change until you declare a truce in your own brain. Mindfulness trains you to watch the thoughts, so you’re not always at the mercy of them.

“It’s the way of learning that thoughts come and go – some are adorable, some are cruel – you’re the observer. But that takes training – you’re not going to get a six pack in one sitting.”

“Many people out there just think they need to cope - so things pile up and pile up,” says Sue Underman from Mediacom, who’s written a book about successful strategies for women at work.

“Remember, for your boss or line manager it is in his or her interests that you are a success. They would rather you ask for help a little bit early rather than having to be signed off for weeks and weeks.

“Work out what would make your life a bit better, whether that’s a bit more pay, better working conditions or a different life blend. It’s not good for any business if people just don’t turn up. So you do have some power even if you feel like you don’t.”

The secret to long-term success? “You’ve just got to keep trying and not give up,” reckons Barbara Taylor Bradford, who’s sold 88 million books around the world and is still churning them out in her eighties.

“My great hero has always been Winston Churchill, and he said ‘never, never, never give up’. I think everybody should try again. We can all do lots of things that we haven’t tried to do. It’s about not giving up or giving in, keeping going.

“But I think that you can’t have everything in life,” she adds. “I really don’t believe you can have it all. You have to compromise a lot.”