A Wedding Behind Bars

Veronica’s* story is one of love, strength and waiting. In this episode of The Untold, the series documenting the untold dramas of 21st century Britain, she shares her story of overcoming the news of her partner's prison sentence.

Grace Dent follows Veronica’s story

She met her partner, Tim*, six years ago when he was a businessman with a comfortable lifestyle. Following a conviction for what is often described as ‘a white collar crime’, Tim will now spend time in prison. Veronica was pregnant during the trial and it was only after the jury returned their verdict, and Tim started his sentence, that the couple decided to be married. On top of the usual wedding plans and stresses, Tim’s circumstances mean that Veronica faces extra challenges – including, applying for authorisation from the prison governor and deciding on an appropriate dress to wear to a wedding behind bars. Her determination to be married to the man she loves has given her the strength to face the difficulties that have been presented along the way.

Living apart

Two or three times a week Veronica makes the five hour journey to the London prison in which Tim is incarcerated to visit him. The anticipation of seeing each other makes the trips worthwhile, despite the heartache of being parted at the end of a visit.

Keeping a secret

Veronica admits that only a handful of her close friends know about her situation. It’s these friends that have helped and supported her through the challenge of being on her own during the pregnancy. She worries that her wider circle of friends would feel sorry for her or cast judgement on her situation and believes that there is no reason for her to tell them.

For better, for worse

Steve Dagworthy - a former finance broker who served half of a six-year sentence for fraud - runs a company which offers support to white-collar prisoners and their families. In a meeting with Veronica, he talks through the emotional stages that he believes Tim is likely to feel during his sentence. He says, “In three months’ time he’s going to go through the realisation point when the adrenaline stops flowing and the fear kicks in - “it’s then that the enormity of what’s happened will hit him. “He’s still a bit like a rabbit in the headlights.” Veronica believes that despite the emotional highs and lows, Tim will prevail and emerge from the experience as a more rounded and better person.

Preparation for the wedding

The couple are aiming to be married before the birth of their child; however, this in itself presents a problem, since, as Tim is likely to be moved to a local prison, the couple can’t begin the process of applying for permission to undertake their vows. Veronica has the challenge of coordinating the small details of their day – such as the music, outfits and the guests who will be present – all of which will be significantly influenced by the prison environment.