Ever stuck for something to say? Noel Gallagher has some pointers.
After Noel’s appearance on Desert Island Discs, we’ve collected some of his most memorable quotes. We would say we’d curated them, but he’d hate that.

On himself:
“I always have been a loner, man. When I was growing up, I never ran with a gang of lads, not for any other reason than I like the peace and quiet. See, I don't take myself too seriously. I don't think I'm better than anybody else. All I say to anybody on the street is 'All I am is a better songwriter than you.’ That's it. But you're a better taxi driver than I am, and I can't drive, so I need you to drive me round the streets of London, so thanks very much for that.”
thequietus.com
To his wife Sara when she nags him for being idle:
“Can you play the guitar? No, you can’t, thank you very much, jog on.”
The Telegraph
On Bono:
“The further away Bono stays from a guitar, the better."
The Telegraph

On Margaret Thatcher:
“Art was better under Thatcher, not because of Thatcher but in spite of Margaret Thatcher.”
thequietus.com
On performing:
Stagecraft is beneath me.
vogue.com
On Paul Weller:
“I still consider myself in his presence to be a little bit shaky, and I'd hazard a guess, so does he.”
thequietus.com

On his cat:
“Well, I didn’t name him. Let’s get that straight. My four-year-old named him Boots. Not after the chemist, obviously. Although, if he’d named him Superdrug, that would’ve been f***ing brilliant.”
shortlist.com
To a heckler in Cork, when he asked where Liam was:
“He's at home looking at himself in the mirror."
nme.com
On the class system:
“You know where the working classes have a voice now? On X-Factor. That's where it's ended up, and that's what the working classes aspire to now, is to be on X-Factor.”
thequietus.com
On Liam post-Oasis:
“I think he probably is working on, you know, developing the perfect desert boot.”
vogue.com
On Morrissey:
“He doesn't have a good word to say about anyone, anything. He never asked me a single question about…what I was doing, Oasis splitting up, nothing. When you're with Morrissey, you're in the court of Morrissey. But he's an uber-legend. What a top man.”
thequietus.com

On partying:
“I thoroughly enjoyed those days, but then, one day in 1998, I said, “Everybody out.” And that was it. It was a moment of clarity.”
shortlist.com
On Russell Brand:
“Tell me a joke. I don't want to know about Trotsky."
thequietus.com
On fashion:
“Everybody likes nice clothes, but I’m not from the school of thought where I think a scarf can change the world.”
vogue.com
On Nigel Farage:
“He doesn't look like he could be mentally capable of running a corner shop, far less a country.”
thequietus.com
On the music industry:
“Music is very middle class. I'd have eaten Bastille alive in an afternoon in the Nineties, one interview, destroyed, gone, never to be heard of again.”
theguardian.com