Unplugging yourself from the nine-to-five?

1. You develop an unhealthy interest in daytime television, including worrying about the state of the washroom on Cagney and Lacey and lying awake at night trying to remember how much the red team got for a wicker dachshund on Bargain Hunt.

2. You feel disappointed when the postman doesn’t leave you anyone else’s parcels as looking after them makes you feel quite useful.

3. Your elderly neighbours start to hurry away when they see you coming.

4. The people at your local corner shop start suggesting hobbies.

5. You consider installing café-style sandwich filling boxes in your own fridge

6. You’ve taken everything you can to the dry cleaners and now find yourself looking thoughtfully at the cat

7. You try and have an office flirtation with your IT support in Mumbai

8. You write inflammatory things about One Direction just so all the hate tweets give you someone to talk to

9. Not only do you have your own table at your local cafe, you start asking for your favourite fork

10. You offer to make yourself coffee. Out loud.

11. Your online supermarket delivery list is longer than the Domesday Book, more complex than the Hadron Collider and they have to charter extra vans to fit it all in

12. You stop ticking the “don’t send me the e-newsletter” box as you miss getting emails

13. Saturdays lose all meaning apart from more people cluttering up your cafe

14. Your cat moves out as you’re too clingy

If you ticked more than five of these, it’s probably time you got back to work. Go on. Shoo. If you ticked more than ten, would you mind letting the gas man in when he comes to ours? We’ve got to get to work...