9 top science jokes from Radio 4’s Jim Al-Khalili

As Prof Stephen Hawking's Reith Lecture on black holes approaches, we invite you to enjoy some top science japes.

[WARNING: You don’t need to be a scientist to understand these but you might need to be a scientist to find them funny.]

Does a radioactive cat have 18 half-lives?

We'll start gently with some one-liners...

1.

"I find it very easy to skim read a non-friction book."

2.

"I was up all night wondering where the Sun had gone. Then it dawned on me."

3.

"Does a radioactive cat have 18 half-lives?"

4.

Q: Who was the first electricity detective?

A: Sherlock Ohms

What’s a transistor?

5.

Q: What’s a transistor?

A: A nun who's had a sex change.

6.

Q: Where does bad light end up?

A: In a prism.

7.

Q: Before docking with the International Space Station, what must the pilot of a space module first do?

A: Put money in a parking meteor

8.

Q: Why was Heisenberg such a bad lover?

A: When he got the momentum, he couldn't find the position, and when he found the position, he couldn't muster up the momentum.

And finally, one to get you really thinking...

9.

Einstein gets on a bus heading into town. He asks the driver:

“Excuse me, does the central library stop at this bus?”

Jokes from Jim Al-Khalili, presenter of The Life Scientific.

If you liked this you might also like Scientific ideas to make you look smart (and what they really mean) also by Jim Al Khalili.