Five reasons we lie about our age

Age. Just a number. Or is it? For many aspiring real-life Peter Pans, it’s two digits they never want you to know. But why?

That’s right. Their mother did it. Or maybe their father. But probably their mother. So, they’ve decided to follow suit. Y’know, tradition and all that. All that being that they wish, with all their being, that the only place their age was printed in the public domain was as a tattoo on the inside of their eyelids.

One should never assume. So true. And yet, we all know we shouldn’t have pre-conceived ideas and yet a lot of us fear being thought of as a crusty by default just because we belong to a particular decade. Even if we’re jumping out of airplanes, dancing until dawn and Snapchatting morning, noon and night. Silly, really, isn’t it?

Sadly, the fear of potentially being overlooked, of losing opportunities and being critiqued unfairly in the workplace which, more often than not, is already super competitive – just because of the date stamped on our birth certificate - is a very real motivator. Resist trying to become BFFs with the young bright thing, whose potential has attracted the attention of your colleagues, in the desperate hope that your boss doesn’t think of you as being at least 20 years older. Just be yourself. You’re brilliant. Have you perused your professional work history recently? Seriously. Take a look, a deep breath and stop being deranged.

In Bridget Jones’s Diary, Mark Darcy tells Bridget, “I like you very much, just as you are”. But the world isn’t full of Mark Darcys, so a lot of women think, especially in the world of dating apps where first impressions matter most, often leading to some serious personal number crunching. While some men, anticipating the arrival of a beer belly, cardiac arrest when climbing one floor of stairs too many and one less follicle on their heads, think counting down from their current age might make a difference to what a potential mate thinks of them (not to mention the type of woman they attract in the first place). Wrong. If you’re the right person for someone, it’s as simple as that. Winding back that body clock isn’t going to change that. And if it does, who wants to be with someone like that, anyway? Also, lying about something as straightforward as your age isn’t a promising start to what could turn out to be the greatest relationship of your life.

Ultimately, for most people, it comes down to avoiding the prospect of being judged, for whatever reason – or reasons - considered most frightful to that particular person. You think you’re over the hill. Skin sagging everywhere it can. Not attractive anymore. Invisible. Practically knocking on the door to your own solid gold tomb. Don’t let two little (I mean they are, individually) numbers control you. Live the life you want to lead and be happy. Failing that, answer the “How old are you?” question with, “How old are you?” until the person asking gets bored, or thinks you’ve lost it. Or just become mute and blink back at them with vigour. It will be uncomfortable for both of you, and the conversation will soon move along.

You can listen to the full Woman's Hour discussion on lying about your age here. Follow us at @BBCWomansHour.