Learning English

Phil

It's day 50. We've made it to Papua New Guinea and the capital city of Port Moresby. People here seem to be wearing masks – I think there's some kind of festival going on. Anyway, this is where we're getting out yacht properly fixed. It needs to be good enough for the next part of our journey. We've decided to sail in a straight line across the Pacific Ocean and then, well, we're taking a short cut through the Panama Canal. It's a long, long way so we need plenty of supplies… but there's a problem…

Phil
What's wrong Sophia? You look a bit worried.

Sophia
Well I've got all our supplies – milk, water, bread, tea, bird food for the parrot – but I haven't got any money to pay for them. We left Sao Tome in such a rush that I didn't bring any.

Phil
Don't worry – here, use my credit card.

Sophia
They don't take credit cards here… just cash.

Phil
Oh really? I don't have much cash either – we could get some wired over to us or maybe Passepartout…

Passepartout
Well don't look at me - I haven't got any cash – I've just used all my money to buy this Savi mask – isn't it beautiful? A real work of art. You need to collect one for your challenge, don’t you?

Phil
Yes I do - well done. Well, if we haven’t got any cash, we’ll have to sell some of our things. How about the parrot?

Sophia
We can't do that – I've given it a name – Peggy.

Phil
That's a nice name Sophia. So, no, we can't sell Peggy. I'll find some books and clothes and things to sell.

Phil
We've made some money and we've got some food and drink. We even had some money left over to buy some lobsters and wine. I'm going to cook a slap-up meal for the crew - but not yet: I'm going to wait until we've sailed for a few days and we're all feeling a bit tired. So off we go again – let's hope the wind is behind us.

Passepartout
Right, shall we take turns to work and sleep? This time, two people can stay on deck while one of us sleeps. The parrot can do what he wants. We don't want any more little accidents, do we Sophia?

Sophia
Ha ha, very funny. Look, I'll get all the sails up – with this wind behind us we should make up some time – just steer us in the right direction! And Phil, are you ok down there in the galley?

Phil
Oh yes fine, I'm just cooking us something special to say 'thank you' for all your hard work.

Sophia
You know the way to a woman's heart is through her stomach!

Passepartout
Hmm, aren't those lobsters we bought getting a bit old? Maybe we should eat the parrot instead?!

Phil
Everyone's tucking into my meal of boiled lobster, fried potatoes and a pineapple salad with white wine to drink. For dessert I'm serving up fresh coconut. It's amazing what you can cook in such a small kitchen. I'm quite pleased with myself and they seem to be enjoying it but of course, Passepartout is complaining again… as usual…

Passepartout
An interesting meal Phil – but was the lobster cooked properly? It had a funny taste and… to be honest… I'm feeling rather… sick.

Phil
Too much wine I expect!

Sophia
He's right… Phil… there was something… funny… I'm going to be… sick.

Passepartout
Oh dear. I feel fine - but that's because there wasn't enough lobster for me to eat. Ermm… are you both ok?

Passepartout and Sophia
No!

Passepartout
Take charge… you need to sail the yacht.

Phil
Food poisoning! I've made the crew ill and now I'm the only person well enough to sail the yacht. (Talking to self) Now stay calm Phil, I can do this. I can do this. Peggy, do you know how to sail? Of course not, you're a parrot. Right, I'm going east and heading for land at 17 degrees south, 149 degrees west. There's a dirty mark on the map so I can't see what the place is called. Oh no, the weather is getting stormy but I can do this – I need to show Sophia and Passepartout I can sail this yacht by myself so here goes…

Phil
Ah Passepartout, how are you feeling?

Passepartout
A little better. Sophia's in the toilet: she's still feeling bad. Oh, well done for sailing the yacht.

Phil
Oh, you know, it's quite easy with a bit of practice. But the wind's getting stronger and there's a storm coming – could you help move some of the sails around… please?

Passepartout
I'm afraid… I can't.

Phil
Oh well, hold tight everyone, I'm going to have to do this alone. I think I can see land… but oh no, I can see rocks too… maybe I should close my eyes.

Sophia
Phil, pull that rope there…

Phil
How did I end up in this situation? I'm sailing a yacht, by myself, in a storm. I'm going to hit the rocks, I'm sure I am. First I poison the crew; now I'm going to drown them too. Where is this harbour? Oh, I want to go home!