Learning English

Narrator
After Alice frightened everyone by growing as big as a house, she ate some little cakes and shrank again. She doesn't like being so tiny, so she's looking for something to make her grow to the right size. But this is Wonderland and what she finds, sitting on top of a mushroom, is very curious indeed…

Alice
Am I as small as a mushroom, or is the mushroom as tall as me? Ohh!!

Narrator
Sitting on top of the mushroom was a blue caterpillar smoking a hookah pipe.

Caterpillar
Who are you?

Alice
I… I'm not sure. I know who I was when I woke up this morning. But I've changed so many times since then!

Caterpillar
What do you mean by that? Explain yourself!

Alice
I can't explain myself because I'm not myself. It's very confusing… I think you should tell me who YOU are first.

Caterpillar
Why?

Alice
Ummm…

Narrator
Alice couldn't think of any good reason. She decided to leave.

Caterpillar
Come back! I have something important to say!

Alice
Yes? 

Caterpillar
Don't be unhappy.

Alice
Is that all?

Caterpillar
No. So you think you've changed, do you?

Alice
I have, sir. I don't stay the same size for more than ten minutes!

Caterpillar
What size do you want to be?

Alice
Oh, I don't mind. A little bit bigger is all I would like. Seven centimetres is such a terrible height!

Caterpillar
It is a very good height! I myself am exactly seven centimetres in height!

Narrator
And with that, the caterpillar crawled off the mushroom and away.

Caterpillar
One side of the mushroom will make you grow taller. The other side will make you grow shorter. Seven centimetres indeed!

Alice
Hmmm… let me pull this side… and now this side…But which side is which?

Narrator
There was only one way to find out the answer to that question. Alice took a bite of one piece of the mushroom - and shrank so quickly that she hit her chin on her foot.

Alice
Ouch!

Narrator
Quickly, she ate some of the other piece of mushroom and …

Alice
Where have my shoulders gone? And my hands – where are you, hands?

Narrator
Alice grew and grew until her neck was as long as a snake. Up and up she grew, through the branches and leaves, until her head was higher than the trees. Alice found she could move her neck just like a snake, bending this way and that. She was about to use her long neck to push her head down into the trees and look for her shoulders and hands, when suddenly a furious bird flew at her.

Bird
Snake! Snake! You want my eggs! I know!

Alice
I'm not a snake! I'm a… I'm a little girl!

Bird
Little girl or snake, it doesn't matter to me, you want my eggs just the same!

Alice
I don't want your eggs, really I don't!

Bird
Then be off with you! Go away!

Narrator
The bird settled angrily into its nest. Alice ate a little of one side of the mushroom, then a little of the other, then a little of the first again until she was a good size. She decided to find her way back the door to the beautiful garden that she saw when she first arrived in Wonderland. As she walked through the forest she found a little clearing, with a small house in it, not much more than a metre or so high.

Alice
I wonder who lives here? The house is so small – anyone who lives here will surely be afraid of me!

Narrator
Alice ate a little more of the mushroom and quickly brought herself down to the right size for this little house. Next time, Alice meets a walking fish, talks to a smiling cat and has to look after a baby. Goodbye.