Review of the week

As a long-suffering QPR fan, I have seen most of these recycled gags before ("What's blue and white and slides down the table?", was a popular one in my day) and I take no pleasure in reprinting them, particularly as half of the wonderful management team here at BBC Sport Interactive follow 'You Spurs', not to mention my mum - although she "quite likes Arsenal as well".

Along with the jokes there were also a few viral emails flying through cyberspace - including the one above, under the banner 'A Win At Last for Tottenham'.

A quick flick through the record books shows Spurs' last win in the Premier League came at Reading on 3 May this year, when Madonna and Justin Timberlake were at number one with 'Four Minutes' - roughly the length of time Juande Ramos will be given to clear his desk should his side lose to Bolton this weekend.

In fact, Madonna's recent troubles mirror those of long-suffering Spurs fans - they fear their best years are behind them and are involved with over-rated directors they can't wait to get shot of.

At least striker Roman Pavyluchenko has other things to take his mind off all the doom and gloom at White Hart Lane. The 26-year-old has been elected as a Russian councillor, representing Prime Minister Putin's United Russia party.

Deputy Pavyluchenko, as we're now obliged to call him, admitted he couldn't fully commit himself but promised to offer a "concrete contribution" (it's not clear which of his two jobs he was talking about, although 'concrete boots' would be a fairer description of his time at Tottenham).

England did the business in Belarus - 'Minsk Meat' according to the tabloids - after a lecture from Rio Ferdinand tearing into the WAGs and the 'circus culture' of previous regimes. The puns have been done to death by better men than me, but if Crouchy was a shoo-in for the stilt-walker and McClaren the clown-in-chief, what price Wazza as the bearded lady?

Incidentally, did anyone else find themselves singing 'Belarus, Belarus can you do the fandango'? Nope? Must have just been me then.

Thankfully there was no repeat of the Wembley catcalls, but over at the Stade de France, the French national anthem was roundly booed before the friendly with Tunisia, much to the bemusement of the players, who couldn't decide whether they should sing along to the jaunty Marseillaise or not.

The actions were blamed on the opposition fans, but if you listen to the sheer volume of the protest, you have to wonder whether four points from three World Cup qualifiers might have had something to do with it.

In the Premier League, Fulham's Jimmy Bullard got up close and personal with Sunderland's Pascal Chimbonda, as he tinkled the Frenchman's ivories in the wall. A few thousand miles away, Carlos Alberto received an eight-match ban for "immoral conduct" after paying particular attention to his opponent's buttocks during a game in the Brazilian leagues. Watch for yourself and decide whether or not the youngster received a bum rap.

Away from football, Peter Ebdon was doing everything he could to single-handedly liven up snooker's image, swinging his cue like a baseball bat after missing the chance of a 147, and then dramatically falling to the floor after Jamie Cope fluked a snooker at the Grand Prix.

Earlier in the tournament, Ebbo mistakenly potted the brown instead of the red (steady) after admitting he was - wait for it - colour blind. And if you think that's funny, check out his bid for pop stardom a few years back with the appropriately titled 'I Am A Clown'.

In boxing, Vitali Klitschko revealed the secret behind his WBC heavweight triumph - wrapping his mits in his son's urine-soaked nappies. The technique successfully prevented Klitschko's hands from swelling, and his opponent, Samuel Peter, retired after eight rounds, when he realised the Ukrainian was clearly taking the p***.

And finally, after last week's tale of Morrissey the Milwall fan, this week it was the turn of those other 80s indie kings, the Housemartins.

Headline writers were queueing up to mark Hull City's defeat of West Ham (following earlier wins over Fulham, Arsenal and Spurs) with the legend 'London 0 Hull 4'. Expect a new chant to greet frontman Paul Heaton the next time he steps foot in the KC Stadium: "Are you Nostradamus in disguise?"