Your Letters

16:18 UK time, Wednesday, 26 November 2008

Given that they were only invented last century, how does anyone know that plastic bags take 1000 years to decay (Supermarkets 'to halve bags used')?
Adam, London, UK

A depression (Letters passim) is defined as an area of low atmospheric pressure. It typically arises following a worsening recession, when you suddenly find that you, the cleaner and the boss all that is left, leaving an open plan office which used to contain about 80 people with little atmosphere. At a certain point there is actually no atmosphere, and this is technically called a vacuum. Such vacuums are rare in history, since nature generally abhors them.
Martin Hollywood, Luxembourg

Any chance of having a mixed metaphor watch? My nomination for today would be "I suggest she is clutching at straws in an attempt to muddy the waters" from this story.
Simon Robinson, Birmingham, UK

In the story about dolphins' speed, the caption underneath the picture reads "Keeping upright for Cilla Black requires a lot more force". Was I the only Monitorite to think it meant something else? Ooooh matron.
Hollie, Wolverhampton, UK

The front page reads "Pianist's dying wish to see his skull star in Hamlet": It would be a little difficult for the pianist to see his skull appear in Hamlet, wouldn't it?
Andrew, London

Re Wogan sings Bing to drum up cash: I'm reminded of a previous Wogan performance advertised as The Three Tenors - tenor Jose Carreras, tenor Placido Domingo, and "a tenner to persuade Terry not to sing".
Edward Green, London, UK

On the topic of nominative determinism (or in the case of this letter, Job Titles), why was Paper Monitor reviewing a magazine yesterday? Shouldn't Magazine Monitor be doing that job?
Lester Mak, London

Eleven letters on Monday but only five on Tuesday - Is this another example of boom and bust?
HannaH, UK