A Sticky End
Day Five of our holiday in the Lake District and we’re heading for the new Lakeland Maize Maze at Sedgwick. So many twists, turns and false starts and a real fear that we’re completely lost but finally we manage to avoid the M6 and find the back road through Sedgwick to the actual Maze.
This does not bode well for our navigation skills so we fork out an extra quid for a sealed envelope containing an escape map which they sell with a promise of a full refund if you don’t break the seal. This appeals to the miser in me and I’m determined that we’ll make it back using logic, deduction and skill.
“Here’s your emergency flag, “says the girl at the gate, “just in case you start getting chest pains or anything.”
And she hands it to me.
Of course, after half an hour trudging through the maze we concede defeat and agree, as a family, to open the envelope.
This doesn’t help because none of us can understand the map. So, I have to confess that we cheated a little by clambering under some chains and making our way across the Victory Bridge to the exit.
“Congratulations,” said the Maze-Maid as we returned our yellow emergency flag, “You were very quick.”
I felt ashamed, but not for long.
So onwards to Kendal and the mouth-watering promise of the Chocolate House on Market Place where they’ve been making chocolate since 1657. That’s about three minutes to five in old money.
In an effort to look sophisticated, I ordered a simple cold chocolate drink, laced with rum flavouring and topped with whipped cream. My ten year old son ordered a chocolate pancake sandwich.
Now, I’m not exactly what happened next. One minute we were in chocolate heaven and then there was a tiny squirting sound and I looked around to see molten chocolate spurting from my son’s pancakes. He’d created his own little chocolate fountain and very soon it was all over his face, hands, my hands, the table-cloth and a couple of nearby American tourists. Waitresses were rushing towards us with damp napkins; it was like a scene from Casualty but with brown blood.
Sophisticated?
I should cocoa.
