Making An Exit
I arrived in London this morning for what was shaping up to be yet another “historic day” for the BBC. Michael Grade had quit as Chairman of the Board of Governors and the Daily Telegraph had reported that my bosses were “incandescent with rage”.That should save us some money on the ‘leccy bills, I thought, as I walked through the doors of the Media Centre in White City. I was fully expecting to see people slapping hysterical colleagues across the face and senior managers throwing themselves from the mezzanine. After all, other newspapers had reported that the BBC was in chaos.
Alas no. It all seemed remarkably calm. No one seemed to have lost their nerve, although a few people were having trouble shaking the chocolate sprinkles on to their cappuccino froth. This was being hushed up, of course, and the official line from the BBC was that there had been “a few raised eyebrows “at the timing of the chairman’s departure. I hurried to a mirror to practise raising my own eyebrows in case that would be required at subsequent meetings. Luckily I’ve watched enough Roger Moore Bond-movies in my lifetime so I had mastered this in a matter of minutes.
Then, walking towards the lifts, I ran into the Director General, Mark Thompson. I almost literally ran into him. Only a split-second body swerve on his part prevented a career-wrecking collision. Then he was off down a corridor looking calm and serene before I could think of an obsequious remark. Curses.
Of course now…twelve hours later…my lightning-fast mind has come up with something I ought to have said. I should have paraphrased that famous exchange between Mrs Merton and Debbie McGee. Remember the one where she asked Debbie: “now tell me, why did you decide to marry the millionaire Paul Daniels?”
Only my question to the D.G. would have been:
“So why did the chairman decide to leave the BBC and join ITV for an three million pound deal?”
Then I’d have raised an eyebrow and strolled off for a cappuccino. Shaken, not stirred. Sorry, I mean stirred, not shaken. No, hang on… oh just forget it.
